Self Empowerment and How to Have It
It’s all working out; you just got to accept that it is working out, and it is.
The reality of life is that we create this world a letter at a time- “a” and “b” and “c.” It’s all in our level of awareness. You want to know how to manifest the physique you want or the amount of respect that you choose to accept? Do you want to become a lover of knowledge? Than choose the liberating wisdom that comes from self empowerment.
It all starts with a switch in thinking. When you break it down and really decide you want to be– then you are. Your presence in a room is a profound manifestation when you become present.
(all of these things are just words but when you give yourself into them, you realize it’s knowledge- a sense of liberating wisdom.)
I’m 30 days into learning how to train for a triathlon, and I will tell you why.
It’s not impossible to go from no physical activity to being able to train for a Triathlon or a Marathon or a Century (100 miles.) It isn’t a secret. It’s what you do every day of your life:
The power of change sleeps in your habits and awakens when you make the decision to change.
Over the last 4 years I’ve been reading every personal development book I can get my hands on. I’ve learned about craft beer, about dating beautiful women, sales, running, muscle building, nutrition, internet marketing, autobiographies, meditation and much more.
And I’ve actually dated beautiful women, sold door-to-door, learned techniques to make my learning faster and efficient, ran 10 miles, built muscle, etc.
Reading so much (and taking drastic risks) have taught me the true value of decision.
You make or break your foundation based on what you choose to do daily. You are your thoughts and actions manifested.
Beginner Triathlete Gear
- A solid bike and helmet, nutrition supplements, sports drinks, a trainer (for bike), good shoes, a whistle, HR monitor.
- Goggles, swimming lessons, wet-suit (if cold water)
- Running shoes, windbreaker, sunglasses
- Lots of good food
You can also spend thousands on other gadgets that are cool to have but not yet essential, but why the heck would you do that?
I will, in future articles, show you how I am doing this on a stable budget. You won’t break the bank, but you’ll bank your breaks. I’ll explain later.
Training like a Turtle (A Badass Turtle though)
Ever been asked the idiom, “how do you eat an Elephant?”
I say it all the time and confuse the shit out of people. And that’s okay.
“One bite at a time.”
If you tweak 1 small thing every 30 days (ideally), then you can become almost anything.
That’s how I’ve learned it- based on what I have read and the relatively small changes that build up to bigger changes in my own personal and public life.
The First 30 Days of Triathlon Training
I use the time-span of 20 days as an example of how I’ve been doing this. Keep in mind I have been consciously working on my habits every day for the last 4 years.
For the person that has tried to exercise before and failed, listen up:
Change one small habit every 30 days. The first change I made for about 30 days was very simple…
I started doing push-ups at home as soon as I thought about it. And I did it. Then- automatically and without pushing myself or straining- I decided to start doing door-frame-pull-ups since I have no pull up bar. Then I did other calisthenic and plyometric exercises.
This is called the absolute threshold: the smallest detectable level of a stimulus.
- In fitness, it’s that point where you are willing to exercise and actually stimulate muscle growth, weight loss, etc.
- In socializing and dating, it’s that slight discomfort you get used to and then add to overtime to become charismatic and confident.
- In habit-building, it’s those 20 minutes of learning Photoshop, Photography, nutrition, etc.
Conscious daily creation is the recipe for success.
You wouldn’t guess it but I’m one of the laziest people I know– despite reading every day, training daily, changing my habits, taking big risks and always learning– I much prefer to accumulate easy tasks that create massive progress.
In triathlon training, the absolute threshold can be to:
Do only push-ups and change nothing else for 30 days.
[Notice I bolded, underlined AND italicized that line. Read it 7 more times.]
Only way to eat an Elephant.
Observe how your body reacts during those 30 days. I noticed bruising would occur in the muscles I worked out, so I started to eat more. That made a HUGE difference.
If you eat well and don’t over-train which is almost-impossible in the first 30 days, unless you have horrible form. Learn form.
Do every exercise at a 4/4 cadence: meaning you count 1-one-thousand, 2-one-thousand, 3-one-thousand, 4-one-thousand during the top push-up position to the bottom position (nose near the ground.) Always hold for a second before moving back up.
[another tip: if you already have a habit of reading everyday, then go ahead and pick up a book on nutrition- compare Amazon reviews, get the popular 5 star one(s)]
Training for a Triathlon: the next 30 days
Now you think about exercise everyday. You are more aware of what you eat. You see yourself in a new light.
Exercising is starting to make you high and happy. What’s next? Time to learn techniques.
Not speed. Not power-endurance. Technique:
- Running form, swimming technique, bike form.
-more COMING SOON-
Focus on living in the moment as you train your body and mind.
“Flow in the living moment. — We are always in a process of becoming and nothing is fixed. Have no rigid system in you, and you’ll be flexible to change with the ever changing. Open yourself and flow, my friend. Flow in the total openness of the living moment. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Moving, be like water. Still, be like a mirror. Respond like an echo.” – Bruce Lee
You don’t have to believe me, but I’m telling you the truth.
It’s not “just” coming from me, I’ve also learned these secrets from friends that are true Alpha Males- guys that live with a silent sense of confidence and a life that’s constantly remarkable.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves though, I want to make sure we are clear on the definition. It’s not what you think. An alpha male is not a dirtbag, manipulative pick up guy, or the guy that gets all the girls. That’s such pea-sized thinking.
An alpha male is his own man. He can sit anywhere and be at home. In fact, even when he is uncomfortable, he is comfortable.
Wherever you stand, be the soul of that place- Rumi
I recently became an Alpha Male. Yea, I know “it’s pretentious to say that.” Stop reading if you don’t want to keep reading.
I noticed it happened at the point where I decided that my happiness is up to me; it’s not transient and it is based on this moment. And this one.
And this one too.
Every time you breathe you decide who you are going to be.
Jay Z is an alpha male. So is Lebron James. Steve Jobs was definitely one. Russel Simmons, Bill Clinton, Emerson, Andrew Carnegie? Yup. All alpha males.
But why? What makes them that way? They all have things in common.
What an Alpha Male Isn’t
- Someone that preys on the lack of consciousness in others: A bully. A victimizer. A manipulator. A charlatan. (also known as an insecure bastard.)
- Someone that doesn’t need anyone.
- A person that looks at women like numbers.
- A dude that is Reckless for the sake of being reckless.
- A chameleon that is constantly changing to receive comfortable approval.
What an Alpha Male Is
- At peace wherever he is and doing anything. There is little or no attachment on the final outcome of things because an alpha male is happy regardless. You will never find a peace more powerful than your own. Meditate on it.
- The type that needs people, but not in a needy way. He needs people because he is filled with love and joy at the action and thought of giving to people. Bathing them with love. Loving people so much for who they are that they want to be constantly around that love.
- In love with his opposite polarity (whether it’s Feminine energy or Masculine energy). Dating and seduction becomes a thing of beauty, not a stressful game to play, consisting of constant headaches and pain. Dating different people is not about notches on his belt, it’s about experience. It’s about making someone happy by being unique. It’s about finding her beauty and holding it close.
- A calculated risk taker. An alpha male does not wait for opportunity. He is ready. He seeks it in whatever form that he values. And he doesn’t stop even after he gets it.
- An alpha male is consistently inconsistent. Consistently growing and changing because he wants to, not because he needs to. He seeks TO love, not to be loved.
All of the previous characteristics can be defined in one line.
It’s up to you to follow it.
I believe in you. I want you to have that joy that comes with existing. Honest.
Oh yea! I almost forgot that one line.
An alpha male is happy existing from a constant point of awareness of the fact that he is happy as soon as he decides to be.
My conscience says I should warn you about this article.
Don’t read passed this line if you’re looking for an easy, comfortable way to live off 20 dollars a day. This article is only for you if:
- You want to backpack anywhere, including New York City.
- You are looking to save some serious cash.
- You are very disciplined or want to be.
- You live for personal growth and adventure.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way…
How to Live Cheaply in New York City
I’ve been in New York now for close to 3 months.
I’ve learned a lot about the city and my Self. The journey here started as what I thought would be a 30 day trial to land a job with an agency that I could truly love and pour myself into (click to read about couchsurfing New York City and what it’s like to be homeless.)
The adventures I’ve had, people I’ve met, and peace that I’ve found has been more than worth 3 months of occasional discomfort.
It is, however, crucial that if you decide to experience something like this, plan accordingly, especially in New York.
New York is one of the 10 cities with the highest cost of living, so you’re going to need a very strong reason to be here. You need a burning “why.” Get your why set in stone. Write it down. Say it daily (whatever your goals are.) Burn it into your will power and soul.
This won’t be easy.
You’ll also need a game plan.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
What good is it to live frugally if you are unhappy?
Meditation has taught me that mankind can, as Viktor Frankl put it, “make a heaven out of hell or a hell out of heaven.”
I include Maslow’s pyramid because living frugally is about using money in the most efficient way possible; it’s not about having a tight butt and loving the way pennies feel between your cheeks. Keep in mind: you could make 100 thousand dollars this year and be just as miserable as someone making $20,000 a year. Disregard it if you’d like, but basing your life on Maslow’s pyramid, and counting your blessings based on what you have, will make you better.
Appreciate what you have now, starting with shelter, food, and water.
Cheap Rent in New York City
Are you the type that burns through money like cigarettes? Maybe you’re not. Regardless, would you like to save an extra- oh I don’t know-700 dollars in rent while you’re on vacation?
With approximately 1 million active members, you’re likely to find a couch to crash on.
Couch surfing isn’t just a means of accommodation; it is an entirely new way to travel. You get to see the world through local residents, not hotel concierges or guidebooks. But what is most profound about the whole experience is the trust. -Time
Best of all — it’s completely, utterly, gynecologically FREE.
If you don’t have friends where you are traveling to, then take advantage of this amazing tool. I have friends that have stayed in Asia, Central America, and in the US through this awesome resource.
Slam, bam, thank you Betty White… you just saved 700 dollars or more on rent. Obviously, plan and message hosts before you set out on your expedition.
(Bonus: if someone cancels last minute, an alternative to a hotel is to book through Airbnb. It’s way cheaper than a hotel.)
Next alternative after those two? I’d say either prostitution or sleeping in the park.
A gentleman doesn’t sleep around and then run off and tell everyone about it.
How to Eat for Cheap in New York City
New York is pricey, but the food doesn’t have to be.
The resources I’ve used most during my first two months in NYC are the food trucks. They are everywhere, and delicious. 5 dollars for enough food to eat two or three meals: chicken and rice, world-famous hot dogs, chocolate muffins, crack-cocaine-coffee, and more. You can spend 10 dollars a day on food, if you plan meticulously.
You can even eat better if you shop for it. I’m not going to tell you how to shop. You are more than able to take care of that one.
Sick of food trucks?
- Eat at 2 Bros pizza or any of those other 1 dollar pizza joints.
- Have a thick, smoky breakfast sandwich for 3.50 at almost any bodega (corner store.)
- Get it right, get it tight at Subway (2 meals in one for 5 dollars.)
(Bonus: use apps. I highly recommend “Urban Spoon.” It’s one of the best ways to find cheap restaurants, or new restaurants, for dates and adventures. You can categorize by price, location, or genre of food.)
Now that We’ve Covered the Basics
You don’t want to spend your time unhappy, do you? As growing human beings, we must also focus on that which brings us joy!
- Making new friends and being a positive influence for them.
- Finding peace within ourselves and self-respect.
- Sexual Intimacy
- Creativity, self-expression, problem solving, etc.
Through years spent struggling to be at peace, I’ve learned that you can’t have the above if you have an unstable base to your pyramid. It’s not easy, but it’s worth every new habit and inch of progress that you will make.
The pain of regret is far worse than the pain of discipline.
I will be writing more about these higher needs as I experience growth on my journey and as I make more time to write articles. [PART 2 is coming right up.]
At this point, I’ve acclimated to New York, Atlanta, Tallahassee, Palm Beach, and areas of Central America. I’ve moved, made awesome friends, dated different types of girls, and…well- I’m having a blast! I think you should be too.
I’ll show you how to make friends in a new city and also how to cultivate a positive attitude.
Most of it will be in PART 2, feel free to subscribe, follow me on Twitter, or wait for me to hit you up on your pager. Trust.
Never give up. You are just a few habits away from being a better man or woman. Nothing can stop you except procrastination and chosen-ignorance.
The remedy for failure is consciousness.
On Being Happy and Cheap
It’s within your grasp. Save money. Have fun. Grow as a person. Make new relationships. Have your inner peace.
I’m hard-pressed to come up with any other ingredients for a happy life. If I’m missing something or you want to add to it, feel free to do so in the comments. We are all on this journey. Let’s do it together.
-Juda A. Borrayo
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” -Emerson